12 Adult 40th Birthday Party Ideas Men Will Actually Enjoy

You asked what he wants for his fortieth. He said "nothing, really". Which means you are planning something anyway, and hoping it is the kind of thing he will secretly love instead of quietly endure.

Start from what he already enjoys. Here are twelve ideas, from low-key to big.

The quiet ones

1. A long dinner at home. Eight to twelve friends, one table, good food, low light. The easiest elegant party there is.

2. A tasting evening. Whiskey, wine, craft beer or hot sauces, with a few labelled bottles and simple snacks. Conversation starts itself.

3. A black tie evening at home. Everyone dresses up, the table is set properly, and the living room becomes a lounge for one night.

The social ones

4. A backyard barbecue. He grills (or does not have to), friends bring sides, and the decor is string lights and a banner over the patio.

5. A game night. Board games, cards or a video game tournament with a small trophy for the winner.

6. A poker night. Green tablecloth, a stack of chips, a dealer's visor for the birthday man. Keep the stakes small and the snacks good.

7. Rooftop or patio drinks. A relaxed evening where people drift in and out, with one good-looking corner for photos.

The big ones

8. A surprise party. Only if he truly likes attention. Invite the people he would invite himself.

9. A sports watch party. Plan it around the big game, with a team-colored table and food everyone can eat on the couch.

10. A trip-themed party. The place he always talks about visiting, in food, drinks and music.

11. A hobby party. Golf, fishing, cars, music: build the evening around the thing he could talk about for hours.

12. A "best of forty years" roast. Friends tell short stories, someone shows old photos, he gets the last word.

How to choose between the twelve

Ask three questions: does he like being the center of attention, does he prefer a few close friends or a crowd, and is he happiest at home or out? The answers point to one or two of these ideas almost immediately.

Make any of them feel like a celebration

A clear focal point (a big "40" or a banner), balloons in two colors plus a metallic, warm light and real glasses turn any of these into an occasion without looking like a kids party.